 | A Step Forward |
 How hatred consumes the self.
The wind blots my tears,
Freezing them to my face
Like crystals on my cracked complexion.
Rejection stabs
Deep into my soul
And I feel BAD inside,
As though something inherently evil
Hopped out from my heart
And exposed itself shamefully -
So those I loved
Walked away in disgust,
But I don't blame them.
Even I long to leave.
I remember this feeling a little too well,
When self-hatred was switched on so strong
That I turned away
At the thought of another day
In my own company.
I find I haven't slipped back so far,
As I look in the mirror at the tear-stained panic
And feel compassion.
It comes to something, when even
Feeling sorry for myself
Is a step forward!
Neomie's diary 10th March 1996
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