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 | How shyness affects our lives |
 Social phobia and shyness affect people in different ways. The only real core similarity, is the integral feeling of worthlessness.
Most of us fear making a fool of ourselves, which causes intense self-consciousness and in social situations.
For some, the social stress rises to anxiety and many, like me, can be panicked just by the ring of the telephone.
Many hate being out in public due to the feeling that everyone’s staring and judging them. They may fear bumping into people they know.
Some hyper-focus on the importance of every word they say, to the degree that they think and think up things to say, and can’t bring themselves to say any of them.
Many people with social phobias and shyness are afraid to look people in the eye, afraid that their weakness and fears will show through.
The feeling of being different, as well as the feeling of being worthlessness, are erroneous brain messages. A shy person will know, on a logical level, that they are as worthwhile as any other human being, but they believe the erroneous brain messages of “I am worthless”.
Affirmations help, but must be used day-in, day-out, for the rest of your life, to truly be effective. “I am a worthwhile person” is the best affirmation I have found, although I love to use “I am naturally outgoing, vivacious and bubbly” in conjunction with “I am a worthwhile person”.
A key symptom of shyness, is often hyper-focus.
A person might hyper-focus, fearfully, on a future social event for days, weeks or even months, pre-running the event in their minds and predicting the worst possible scenarios.
You can use this hyper-focus positively to visualize the event turning out spectacularly, pre-running instead the BEST possible scenario and imagining your social skills growing and developing.
Accept every invitation for a month, and use your affirmations daily, to see if this helps you to feel better about yourself. If you find you feel worse, then I suggest you find a balance between accepting some invitations and rejecting others.
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Re: How shyness affects our lives (Score: 1)
by dinkydarah on Monday, October 20 @ 20:48:12 BST
(User Info | Send a Message) | Neo - you are a babe!!
As you know, I chicken out of trich meetings quite a lot and feel out of place with more 'confident' people. I also started my first job after graduating recently, and would love it if only I felt that I was doing it right / ok / good enough / making the right decisions / communicating properly with people and not offending / upsetting / undermining them or forgetting important bit ....you get the gist and I know you understand!!
So, my point is, thanks for this site - just reading the above post helped me to feel brighter about things!!
Love
Sarahx |
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