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Speaking out
Posted on Monday, June 06 @ 10:29:38 BST by Neomie |
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KarlaMarie writes "Ever thought you would have the courage to tell over ten people in one sitting that you have Trichotillomania.
I didn’t. But I did.
As a teenager with Trichotillomania, I am constantly batting more then just school worries and peer pressure that seem to plague those my age. I honesty wonder at times why me, but if it was not me, it would be someone else thinking that very same thing.
I pull my hair. I have been doing so for just over 3 years and during this time, I have become an expert at fixing my hair so that no one, not even my mother (until by chance she noticed me pull) knew I was a freak. You see that is how I viewed my self, I had very low self esteem and I still do and during times of depression I return to my “pre knowing” phase, which was when I did not know what Trichotillomania is, and call myself unworthy and a freak.
When I found out what my affliction was called, and that in fact it had a name, I became obsessed with finding every piece of information on the subject. It became my reason to exist, to learn everything and to cure it for good. I want to tell the world about it and prevent it in any person who may start up. Prevention is better then a cure, and if I could start a campaign so that information was spread to teachers and parents so that they could look for the signs, not only of Trichotillomania but of a variety of disorders, who much time would be saved and how sooner could help be provided. This is my dream. At 17, telling the world and starting something as big as my dream is very out of reach. I decided to begin small.
At school, I have an independent project, my Personal Interest Project (PIP). I had my project. I began to give out interviews of doctors and started a case study of myself. All was going well. I had to only tell one of my teachers about my disorder and the rest would be secret. That was until I was informed that I had to stand in front of a room of people most of whom do not like me, and inform them that I, Karla have a disorder where I pull my hair.
It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. Unlike all the other presentations, where no one payed attention, everyone stared at me and listened with rapture. The students in my class then decided to start a question time against the teacher’s wishes. Although I must add, I was a lot more comfortable with answering questions then speaking about my PIP.
These people surprised me, not one jab or hurtful remark, just acceptance. And after it I was applauded- the only one- and although I heard whispers and other chatter with my name included, no one did anything to be horrible to me in fact the opposite happened. A popular male student who never really spoken to me before told me he would actually help me stop pulling if he knew how, and asked me if I wanted to be told when I was pulling as to stop me, and he was sincere.
Although, it was the scariest thing I ever had done I was pleased I had done it. It showed me that some people could surprise you.
Written by Karla Marie
05- June- 2005"
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Average Score: 4.86
Votes: 29
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