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Confrontation = Meltdown
Posted on Tuesday, September 30 @ 23:40:26 BST by Neomie |
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Anonymous writes "I understand what the person has said. Its been an afliction on me for the past 29 years and I am now 38.
All through my life whether be a child student or now a professional.
I could have had a real busy day or week but for some reason no matter what have always analysed how I performed.
Then if I felt really stretched mentally and just about managed to cope with the problem at hand and know there is more to come, then privately would go into a meltdown situation and naturally the hairpulling would start. Your head feels over heated and you think you are going mental your head is about to expolode. At times cooling your head under a cold shower only works for a short period - short sharp shock treatment I guess. After a while you may find the pulling rate has dropped for a while.
In the end this affliction would be automatic response, your left or right hand going for your hair. The pulling at first (when young) would cause you pain and you have to tug hard and you would feel it. Strangely it would offer some mental relief or calm (wierd this talking) but it did never the less. Then you realised what you had done. Looking at the hair with the white folicle for a time then putting it in your mouth on your toungue to feel it, either stripping it with your teeth, then hide the evidence by either dropping it on the floor or consuming it when someone approached.
The worst part is over time a bald patch emmerges and you know that you have done this to yourself and you cannot hide it. This lovely phrase - a vicious cirlcle forms. From an early age you try and wear a baseball cap to conceal things but in the end just gave up with the idea and just live with it. Up to a certain point I have come to know and accept this is apart of me and one day will overcome this again.
I have had two times full head of hair, but since the last major meltdown 8 years ago I fear that irrepairuable damage has been done and is not growing back as hoped (after all I am older). Oh well such is life.
This is my first time here on this website. The only thing I'd like to say is you are not on your own, look at me and my sad story.
I wish for you to be able to get the strength, stubborness or logic to be at peace with yourself to slow down and stop hairpulling.
Life is runnnig fast, demands are placed on us and everything now is oh so important, but is it ?
If you don't slow down once in a while you may just miss out on something rather good.
I say this to you with this in mind. If I can help just one person with this little essay then it has not been a waste of my lifetime.
As I fear when I have children they may ask "Why Daddy do you have no hair?" At this moment I don't know what to say normally it would be the truth but will probably tell a white lie and say "Just getting old", as I don't want them to know what I've gone through and may have profound influence on them.
All the very best to you.
J"
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Article Rating
Average Score: 4.8
Votes: 5
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