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Avoidance : Few Things Feed Trichotillomania Faster
Posted on Sunday, April 14 @ 12:16:10 BST by Neomie |
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Life is full of must and should. We all still have the voice of our parents telling us what to do and what not to do, ringing in our ears like an old worn out recording. No wonder we still act like rebellious teenagers!
We
avoid what we should be doing, we avoid saying what needs saying. All
this, and more, we avoid by pulling and plucking and making ourselves
feel worse.
Right
now I’d rather be in a chatroom than writing this article. I’m fighting
the urge to diversify. The urge to pull isn’t all we need to get a handle
on, to live effectively.
Trichsters
PROCRASTINATE.
Proctastinating
is part of the Fight or Flight Response. Procrastinating is fleeing in
the face of danger.
Yet
how dangerous is cleaning the kitchen cupboards?
It seems pretty dangerous to someone who has a high level of daily
fear, which many of us have.
Do
you
- Avoid tackling
something you really need to deal with?
- Deny to yourself
that you can do things you really are capable of?
- Refuse to answer
the telephone unless you know who’s calling when you are not at all
busy?
- Get sick, upset,
depressed and angry often, and tell yourself it’s because you’re inadequate?
- Devalue your own
opinions, asking others to validate what you already know.
For
months I knew I had to leave my day job and concentrate on writing, both
in here and for money. I asked everyone and they all said "Everyone
feels like that. You just have to stick at the job where you make your
money." One day my sister said "You’ve asked me that every week
for a year. I think now is the time you followed your heart and concentrated
on what you WANT to do."
The
next day I handed in my notice.
I’m
still asking myself – did I do the right thing? Will it work out? Will
people come forward for trich therapy … will my writing sell? I’ve just
stopped asking everybody else.
Knowing
that our natural reaction is to flee from things which need doing, and
that the urge to run is based on irrational fears, we can discipline ourselves
to stay and do what needs doing, thereby reducing the stress which causes
our pulling.
How
about saying no? That’s hard for us.
Do
you …
- Ascertain what
someone wants from you, and give it, even though it makes you feel terrible?
- Have an opinion
but not express it to avoid confrontation or criticism?
- Try to be nice,
at your own expense.
How
do you feel when you give in to another’s demands, despite not wanting
to?
Do
you know you’re going to feel this way when you give in?
If
you continue to say yes when you mean no, you will suffer emotionally
and your hair/lashes/brows will suffer too.
©
Neomie Da Costa, B.Msc
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Article Rating
Average Score: 4.7
Votes: 100
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Re: Avoidance : Few Things Feed Trichotillomania Faster (Score: 1)
by stoppulling on Wednesday, July 10 @ 12:33:08 BST
(User Info | Send a Message) | Hi Neo! Did you finish it???
I just read this article now - well done! It's all so me...
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Re: Avoidance : Few Things Feed Trichotillomania Faster (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Sunday, April 14 @ 12:52:54 BST | I'm nearly finished my doctoral degree. All it takes is to finish my dissertation, which I am writing on Neovision Trichnotherapy. To finish it will not only benefit me (I'll be a doctor), but also the people I treat in trichnotherapy.
PLEASE everyone, nag me to finish it. I just want it done so I can start on a book about trich.
Love you all.
Neo |
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Re: Avoidance : Few Things Feed Trichotillomania Faster (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Tuesday, September 10 @ 11:51:34 BST | | i cried when i read your article. well done. i feel like you have just jumped into my life, heart and soul and expressed everything i have ever felt since getting trich. It touches every aspect of my life and i struggle everyday with these stupid overwhelming feelings that stop me from perfoming everyday tasks that i should be doing. as a mother of 3 kids under 5 i have to keep on top of household chores or they just build up and swamp me - but sometimes i just at what i have to do and i run away. i leave it all there and i run - to the shops, to my family, anywhere to avoid thinking and looking at it all - because i am too scared to confront it. i cannot prioritise anymore and yet i used to run 2 state offices for a well respected company. what is wrong with me? why can't i pull myself together and just get it all done? now that i have accessed the internet i now realise that i am not alone in this daily struggle to rid myself of this monster that threatens to ruin my life every day and every night. thank you to everyone who contributes to these sights - just knowing that someone out there understands how we feel should surely help to make us stronger! |
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Re: Avoidance : Few Things Feed Trichotillomania Faster (Score: 1)
by fay (blah) on Thursday, March 13 @ 08:46:10 GMT
(User Info | Send a Message | Journal) | | couldnt agree with you more. alot of what you wrote reminds me of myself its not exactly something im proud to admit but almost all the things you said are true about me and it disgusts me. |
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Re: Avoidance : Few Things Feed Trichotillomania Faster (Score: 1)
by stally on Sunday, February 13 @ 14:33:41 GMT
(User Info | Send a Message | Journal) | Wow, all of this is SO me. I have been like this ever since I started pulling really. I don't get anything done, and would quite happily substitute what needs doing with something that appears easier. I also ALWAYS put other people first, even if I believe i have the right to be put first on that occasion.
Thanks for that story neo, really made me think,
Sally xx |
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cant stop trich (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Thursday, December 09 @ 05:26:03 GMT | hey
im 12 years old ive been pulling for 5 years
i cant stop any more ive stoped before only 2 months it made me feel so happy i had my hair back but then i was watching tv and i started to pull my hair out again and i woold eat the root it made me feal like a freak so long and i still do now 3 years later im finally wereing a hat and i hate hats im so embarrist now i go to home-schooling and now i have no friends
to play with out-side or anywere i dont know any1 that has trich and it makes me feal wors
that i no nobody that i cant talk to that will understand that is my problem
sincerely,
Anobody
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Re: Avoidance : Few Things Feed Trichotillomania Faster (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Sunday, December 12 @ 05:12:11 GMT | | i've just found this site and agree to everything in it i hate confruntation always doing things for other people and not doing the things for myself with the fear and worry of life and being alone no medication works but what can be done? |
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Re: Avoidance : Few Things Feed Trichotillomania Faster (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Monday, March 14 @ 12:41:24 GMT | | Quite right. I am terribly submissive. I just squeak at people - then they push me too far and I lose my temper - and that's worse! People take advantage of my good nature - because i let them! How inutterably foolish. I am consideration itself. Until I depress myself so utterly that I disappear from all the world like a chuimera. Sometimes I doubt my own existance. Life is but a dream! Quite ri8ght. No point moaning. Better get a grip, and dop what I think's right. I am my own responsability, and I haven't the right, if nothing else, to faust my wellfare on other people's shoulders, and cry and hope people will save me. Before you think me rather odd, I'm not that old - I'm nearly 18 - so I am only just spreading my wings. But I must pread them. Or I'll never fly. How corny. But how true. I've wittered on enough. Farewell, and thankyou for making me more sure that I should be more sure of my own mind, if you see what I mean. C. |
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